Thursday 5/15/03. Hares: BUSHRAT & JUSTDAVID.
Got to the Lemoyne area early so I decided to find a dive bar to have a beer. Turned the wrong way out of the lot and stopped at the first bar I saw, The Gingerbread Man. Walked about two steps into the place and decided that the G-Man at this time of the day was too uppity for me. Drove further up the road and cursed myself for not bringing my information on the Viquesney WWI Doughboy statue that stands somewhere in Wormleysburg.
Came to the YP and sat at the bar. A tall, dark complected barmaid from the UK served my $2.75 Yuengling Lager. Mostly locals spinning tall tales of supposed adventure. As I was just about ready to drink a second one out of sheer boredom and a vague interest in the barmaid - my phone rang. It was KY, JUSTDAVID and QUARTERSTICK. They were at a dive bar just outside the supermarket lot - the OTHER way.
Drove down there in a few minutes and enjoyed some significantly cheaper beers before going to the ON ON.
Got to the Karn's and found Virgin JUSTANNETTA already there and looking sporty in her Harrisburg Rugby jacket. Helpful hare BUSHRAT gladly showed her the marks and before long the hares were off - without introductions, a circle or anything.
Milled around wishing I had bought a sixpack at the dive bar. Almost got to see KY pissing right in a parking spot in broad daylight. Soon we were off and quickly encountered some unusual backchecks and marks. Following the chalk we came to a beer check by a small bridge over RR tracks.
I noticed a bunch of pink balloons that were in the trees - probably released somewhere and landed here. Wouldnt it be neat to drop a huge rock onto all of them at the same time? Coming back up the hill with by bouquet, my right knee go against some hidden rusty sheet metal and cut me diagonally about ten inches. I had nothing to pour on it but beer so I did.
Leaving the beercheck we crossed the bridge and I got to run behind the very tan KY and the athletic JUSTANNETTA. JUSTSTACEY & her loverboy JUSTCHRIS were also nearby.
More trail. Came back towards the Karns only to see the trail turn away. Found another BN and watched DEATHWISH climb a billboard to kiss and hump a female candidate for Cumberland Co Commissioner. QSTICK is leaping from a bridge into maple trees, my leg is bleeding, I'm quite aroused by all the bimbos and my stomach is rumbling.
The trail ended at PHONE SEX's garage for lots of entertainment. DW serves as RA and notes that JUSTANNETTA is wearing "new shoes". They werent brand new but fairly new. He states that since I brought her and she didnt know - I must drink from her shoes.
Well, let me tell you that old OE has zero affection for FEET. Never have. But JUSTANNETTA's hot body, charming personality & radiant smile won me over and that old Lager went from the inside of that sweaty shoe to my insides. Tasted good too!
The circle started breaking up with two distinct groups - singers and minglers. The singers did more singing than I have seen at the H5 in a long time. JA found that her years singing rugby songs served her well at a hash. At one point I saw PHONE SEX doing a down down even though it was her garage. Someone had the chalk and wrote PHONE SEX on several places on the walls of her garage. I wonder if she rents or owns that home?? Finally, a pissed off neighbor arrived and asked for XXXX. Most people there had no idea what PS's real name was so it took awhile to realize who he wanted. He said that we were being too loud and "frightening his children". Shorly after this the circle broke up and we headed back to get the cars.
Found JUSTCELIA waiting for us at the cars. Convoyed back to the Silver Hill where the same crowd of rednecks were still sitting. It was funny to watch them ogling our hash bimbos.
Reached the point where I knew I wouldnt be remotely safe to drive home and wouldnt have any chance of getting up at 4AM for work so I asked which way was the best way to 83. JEB was completely hammered but gave me excellent directions.
Driving down the turnpike I became very tired and dozed off a few times. Suddenly I opened my eyes and all I saw was jersey barrier - I was headed right for the concrete wall! Well, an instantaneous rush of adrenaline, four new Goodyears and an act of God allowed the hash 'n cache wagon to miss the wall by inches. I almost shit my pants and was WIDE awake the rest of the drive.
Got home, reeking of smoke and beer and fell fast asleep.
OE
Actually made it work on time!
